On the Third Day of Christmas a rando gave to me...

... buy two get one free.

Recently, I decided that I have insomnia. I go to bed really late and just can't manage to fall asleep. I have decided that this can be attributed to several factors. One reason might be that I blast the heat on a high setting so I am sweating and suffocating as I am trying to get to la la land. Another option is that I became dependant on night time cough syrup after my whooping cough and my body just isn't used to going to sleep without the elixir (or booze). The final option is that it is finals week for my Alma mater and my body is seasoned for this time of year to stay up all night "studying" aka people watching in the library while I have my "notes" aka doodles open. No matter the cause, however, I continue to have problems getting to bed. As a result, I stay up for hours watching the Game Show Network, or various cooking shows. Needless to say, I have learned a lot of useless information and have some pretty crazy ideas for my next big feast.

Each morning, after my alarm goes off about 6 times, I finally open my eyes, feeling insanely tired (probably because I have only been asleep a few hours). Because I just don't have the energy to pull myself out of bed, I lay there watching whatever is on the TV channel to which I had fallen asleep. I don't have a remote, and as I mentioned I don't want to exert myself to actually get up and change the station, so I typically view various infomercials each morning for about 15 minutes. It has actually become a major part of my routine. I now know of products ranging from weight loss to cooking utensils, and most recently vacuum cleaners. The other day, there was an infomercial on about a product called the "SodaStream," which I have decided is by far the coolest thing that I have EVER seen. I absolutely must have one. And at $150 each, it is well within reach. With this machine, you can make your own soda, and even more importantly make your own energy drinks. Can we say hello redbull and vodka?? There are so many reasons besides my drinking problem that I need this. It would save me money in the long run because every time I buy soda, it goes flat before I can finish the bottle. With this contraption that wouldn't be an issue. Also, surprise guests showing up = drinks for everyone. See! I think this thing is a must. Now, I don't want you to think that I am biased for just the soda machine. No No No, I want almost everything that I see on TV. Lucky for me, while I am watching these infomercials, my credit card is in the other room (and again, I am not getting up) so I am unable to order them. Although, I must say that the deals they offer are amazing. Just this morning there was an offer to get $800 worth of products for 5 easy payments of $40! What a steal!

I have decided that my life long dream of being a stay at home mother would be a mistake if my husband were to let me watch these things all day. Which in turn leads me to think that we will need a maid to do the monotonous tasks during which I would typically view such a program. I think it would actually save us money. I mean pay for a maid or pay for me to order things all day everyday? I think we can figure out which one is cheaper.

So, for Christmas I request a SodaStream. Look it up. You will want one too. If for some reason you can't get it to me in time, I will actually take anything off of an infomercial, particularly a Snuggie.