On the fourth day of Christmas a rando gave to me

4 inches of space to squeeze....

I really do not like escalators. By really don't like, I mean the cause me to have slight panic attacks. I am not sure why they freak me out so much. I am also not sure why I have a conniption when I am not on the end of the aisle at church, but that is beside the point. It is kind of silly that I am afraid of escalators because they are not like an elevator where they can fall and I go plummeting to my death. No, with escalators, it is more like it can stop working and it just sits there or you can get your shoe laces caught in it and have your ankle riped off. I don't wear shoes with laces, especially to to shop in, so I guess scenario number one is really the only problem that could arise, which wouldn't bother me because I prefer to walk up or down the escalator as fast as I can, in an effort to get off that thing!

Due to the holidays, there has been an excess of people shopping at the mall across from my office during my lunch hour. An excess of shoppers results in crowded escalators, which results in me freaking out and almost pushing someone, which would then cause a domino effect, which could actually be rather funny. For several summers, I lived in DC interning, during which time I was inevitably faced with escalators regularly, especially when coming out of metro stations. While I would many times just take the stairs, there were instances where I chanced it an hopped aboard the escalator and other times when that was the only option. The great thing about the big city escalators is that those individuals riding them know escalator etiquette. They know that the left side is for walkers and the right side is for standers. Here in this amazing city, apparently it is commonly known that BOTH sides are for standers, or so people think.

Yesterday as I am minding my own business, grabbing lunch and heading back to the office, I get on the escalator and begin to walk down the left side, just like I always do. Unfortunately there for several very large women standing in my way. I said a quick excuse me with a pleasant smile as I tried to squeeze past one lady's big ass. She moved approximately 1 inch and glared at me. Pushing her fat out of my way, I squeezed through the 4 inches of space that she was so kind as to share with me, nearly suffocating as her roll engulfed me. It was like this with her two friends as well and I was just thankful to get past them. Eventually I made my way to the bottom of the horrid device and was able to get off in a complete panic state.

Needless to say, if you see me around Christmas, be so kind as to let me slide past when we are on the escalator.