Up Up and Awayyyy

I spent the weekend in Tampa with three absolutely amazing girls. The best part of the trip is that I managed to drink enough for not only myself but also for these three amazing girls. Needless to say, yesterday's 12 hours of travel were not the most exciting time of my life... In fact, I would say it was not even in the top 100 best experiences. This may be that I started off the day by waking up to look at the clock only to discover that it read 8:15 AM. By the way, a good thing to note here is that my flight was to take off at 8:15 AM. SHIT. Lucky for me, throughout the debauchery that was occurring just a few short hours before, we had forgotten to reset the clock due to daylight savings. Score, my flight didn't leave for an hour.

After realizing this, I threw on clothes, grabbed my bag, and ran down the hall. No, don't worry, I didn't look in a mirror, or realize that maybe I had last nights make up smeared all over my face... or that I smelled like a discount liquor outlet. After managing to get a cab and talk the driver into exceeding the speed limit by about 30mph the whole drive to the airport, I made it there with time to spare, which was perfect since it gave me the chance to focus on not yakking all over the place. Still drunk, check. Reeking of liquor, check check. Wanting to die, you betcha!

First flight of the day was miserable. Not just for me, but for everyone that I sat near. Of this I am sure. Thankfully, I was able to rest my head on the oh so comfortable benches in the Atlanta Airport during our layover. It is at this point that I would like to insert HOW THE HELL DO HOMELESS DRUNKS DO THIS??? Like for serious here. That was uncomfortable to begin with, but hung over and dirty made it ten times worse. Mark on my list of things not to do in life: Become a homeless raging alcoholic.

Second flight wasn't that bad hangover wise, but I had problems with others on the flight, the main one being the lady sitting next to me. First and foremost, let me share with you that I loooooove the window seat. I am absolutely disappointed when I don't get the window seat. I like to watch out the window the entire flight. I was ecstatic when she offered me the window seat instead of the aisle. It was like hello new best friend, want me to buy you a cocktail on this flight since you are so awesome?!? But best friend, she quickly became not. She thought that she needed to have the armrest... and half of my seat... for her arm. I continued to squirm away from old bff who took that as my offering for her to use up even more of my personal space. It wasn't. I guess she loved the way I smelled at that point and was trying to get some of it on herself. What a weirdo. Problem number two with this flight: someone broke the rules! A child had a sword on the plane. Now don't get me wrong, I love swords and yes, this was obviously a toy, but seriously, I follow the rules, and you need to do so too kiddo. If I can't bring aboard my dart gun, you gotta leave that sword at home. Problem number three: I was freezing because I being the dumb blond that I am forgot that the weather aboard the aircraft, and at my final destination was not that of Tampa, Florida. My B.

Eventually, I did make it home though, and I am pretty sure that I contracted a whooping cough along the way. I thought that spending over $300 during the course of the weekend was bad because I didn't have anything to show for it. Luckily, I was wrong. I am going to have rock hard abs to show from it as a result of all the coughing that I am now experiencing. And I thought there weren't perks!! I also may now have an addiction to night time cough syrup as a result but that is a completely different topic.