I spy...

I have this new obsession with creating "Notes" in my iPhone when I am drunk. By creating notes, I mean taking down quotes from people that I think are funny so that I might be able to embarrass them later by calling them out on their actions. Many times the next day these notes are either jibberish because I was entirely too intoxicated to replicate what they say. Other times, the notes aren't the least bit funny and I question why I felt that this was so important to remember the next morning. On other occasions, the notes become very important to me, like the one this weekend.

Last night as I soaked in a bubble bath drinking wine, I was reviewing my "notes" from the weekend and came across one that stuck out to me because I wasn't sure if it was 1. funny 2. creepy or 3. hitting too close to home. (On another note, I don't know how appropriate drinking wine alone on a Sunday night is, nor do I know how safe playing with my phone in a bathtub is.)

"I just went and looked up every guy on the 300 person class roster on facebook until I found him. Then I added him as my friend"

Are we seriously here?!? Obviously, my friend Aubrey is a 100% certified stalker. The note stopped there but the story itself did not. She went on to tell us about how she figured out where he lived so that she could markedly place herself in his path so they could walk home together. She also had figured out from looking at his pictures where he tailgates (where of course she thought we should stop by), how many siblings he had, what his childhood was like, yadda yadda yadda. The detail to information about this guy was endless. As I was in hysterics over the fact that she actually shared this information with us, I was slightly creeped out by the fact that Aubrey had put more time into researching a rando hottie from class than she put into researching her last term paper. Does anyone know all this information about me? Have people looked into all of my facebook info? Probably not. In fact, if there was a "lurker count" on facebook, hits to my page would be in the area of NONE. But seriously,how many folks are into lurking like this?? Yikes! Pondering these questions led me to one conclusion -- Oh Shit, I have totally done this before! I am a huge creeper.

I never considered the fact that lurking on people could actually equate to legitimate stalking, which of course could lead to a restraining order and eventually jail time. Is this psyco when I do it like it sounds when she does? I mean granted all of my (and Aubrey's) stalking has resulted well. She got a kiss out of it the other night. Is it only creepy if they don't want to be your friend in the end of things or is it always creepy regardless?

I tried justifying my personal past actions because I knew so many people that have done similar things on way worse levels. Like the time one of my roommates called the university's IT desk claiming she was someones mom and needed their log on information to access her son's account. Or like the millions of times that I have requested friendship with strangers because it is so and so's ex girlfriend's best friend's cousin's roommate's old boss and Kathy "just needed to look at all 567 of her pictures to make sure her boyfriend wasn't in any."

The more I thought about these situations, the more I realized that I have about a million creepy tendencies and now I am just left wondering if only my friends are weird or if this is a universal thing?? If it isn't a universal thing, I definately think that I should apply for a job as a spy or maybe go into HR so that I can screen potential applicants.