You must be kidding me...

My boss is 67 years so we have some issues when it comes to being on the same wave length. I like to make jokes. Usually, he thinks I am serious. He likes to be serious. Usually, I think he is joking. As you can imagine, this communication barrier can sometimes cause confusion. More often then not, it causes me to think what the fuck is wrong with you, sir?!

Yesterday was no exception to the rule. The morning started out with my boss calling me and telling me that I needed to change the voice message for the office to my voice (he thought it was the old message from the lady that had my position prior to me). I told him that it was my voice and that I had changed the message about 6 months ago, just shortly into my position here. His response to this was that I didn't sound like myself. It was too "professional" and not my chipper self. Excuse me? You think I sound too professional, in a professional office? Now don't get me wrong, I don't come across as the most professional person ever but seriously, don't you want people to at least think I am from the voice mail? I guess he wanted me to say "Hey, whats shakin? We can't catch your call because we are too busy screwing around not doing actual work but getting paid mad money for it. Leave it at the beep."

The afternoon was another WTF, kind sir? situation. The snow had gotten pretty rough and many others in the office had been released. I asked if when I had finished the task at hand if it would be okay to leave a half hour early in hopes of getting home before my parking lot became a ski slope. After much debate and making me feel like it was a completely ignorant idea, he let me leave. Jokingly, I said I hoped that I could make it tomorrow since I drive a little car without 4WD and live on a hill. He responded, dead serious, that I could walk to work. Now would be a good time to point out that while yes, I only live a mile away, I have to cross 4 lane highways and an interstate to get to my office. Sure, I'll put on my snowboots and stroll on over, dumbass.

It just amazes me that he suggests that I do such bizzar things. On top of his strange ideas and suggestions, he actually makes me do off the wall shit. Today, my task is to upload 26 CDs of audiobooks onto his iTunes. Are you fucking kidding me?! I could do this shit for you at home, where I could be in a t-shirt and underwear rather than this office that is uncomfortable where I am wearing semi-appropriate work clothes. I am so over this today. Geez.