1, 2, 3, 4 and get them sit ups right

The other night a friend of mine tweeted about how irritating it is when people go to the gym for an exercise class, get there early and proceed to sit on their ass and wait, rather than do some cardio. She also noted that spandex is really not that flattering on everyone. After reading the tweet, my wheels started turning as I started to realize all of the things that irritate me about people at the gym.

For Christmas this year, I got a partial membership to a fitness club in town. It is really a great deal because you get the option of attending four different gyms throughout town. This has been great because some locations have been more convenient at times that other and it gives me a change of scenery when I need it. The problem, however, is that it also opens up the door for me to get irritated with people at more than one location, leaving me with several complaints.

1. Why do you drive around the parking lot to find the spot closest to the door?
It is not raining. You have two legs. Oh, and you are at the fucking gym! Seriously, why do people feel the need to try to find the best spot possible when they are going to work out? Do they want to make sure that they do not exert themselves any beyond the work out that they are about to endure?

2. Why do you go to the gym to do things you can do at home?
This lady is in one of the locations everytime that I go there and she has a fabulous body, especially since she appears to be about 60 years old. Everytime I see her though, she is coming to the gym to do things that she could do in the privacy of her own home. She gets there, sits on the floor, stretches for about 20 minutes, then does crunches and push ups for about ten minutes, the leaves. During the 30 minutes that she is there, she uses absolutely NO equipment what so ever, nor does she interact with anyone at the facility. I just can't comprehend why you would want to pay money each month to go out of your way to complete an activity that you could do in your living room?

3. Are you a model? Because you look like a clown in all that make-up.
I understand wearing make up to the gym if you go there at the end of the day, say when you get off work. What I can't understand is why some people at my gym look like they have been hanging out at the MAC counter all day. There is no way that your make-up stays on your face like that until 9 pm. You went home and put on more make up before you came. Additionally, here is a newsflash: even if you weren't at the gym, you are wearing entirely too much!

4. What exactly are you listening to that makes you dance like that and not realize it?
Don't get me wrong, I have a pretty eclectic mix on my iPod when I am running. I like to feel energized and if the Space Jam soundtrack is what gets me there, so be it. I only pray that I don't look like some of these fools while I am listening to it. There are folks at the gym that are be boopin around in the most off beat way that I can't decide if they are listening to some insane music or just have no rhythm.

5. Do you think that we want to see your stomach? You are not the cougar you think that you are.
I wish I could see some of the ladies at my gym in the same way they must see themselves when they look in the mirror. So many middle aged ladies are running around that place in sports bras and tight shorts that it is unreal. The super unnecessary part about it is that 3/4 of them don't have the bodies to do this. I'm not sure if it impresses the nearly senile members when they wear these scandalous outfits, but it totally grosses me out. I am not letting my belly hang out for the world to see, neither should you.

6. If you don't want to be here, why don't you go home?
This question is for both the workers and the members. It drives me insane when people look like they are about to kill themselves from depression when they are at the gym. Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Put a damn smile on your face. You are the one that chooses to come here, so if you are so miserable, go home!

The list could continue to go on and on, but if I continue, I may start hating the gym myself... that or start justifying some of the folk's actions, neither of which paths am I interested in taking. So as for now, I will come to the gym for a workout, using things I can't use at home, wearing appropriate clothing, not dancing like a fool and if I have any make up on, it will be that which I have worn all day (which usually results in the sweat causing me to have mascara down my face).